doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
