Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
