People in love make me want to vomit
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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