and she was petting her beer can
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
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just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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