Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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