So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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