For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
