just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
