1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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