State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
