Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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