fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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