I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
