it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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