It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
