the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize