Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
