Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
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I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
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I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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