This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
