YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
