I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
