I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
