it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize