I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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