i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
