I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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