Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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