some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
