I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
