so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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