Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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