We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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