so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
