Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
We should try that some time.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
Cake is only good when you eat it
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.