You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.