I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
