just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.