Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix