I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
