Taylor Swift is so right about you.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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