so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
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Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
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I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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