Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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