Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
