What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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