He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
