addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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