try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I want to fling myself into the sun
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
