Tell her she can't have a vagina
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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