I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
