weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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