you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
