I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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