i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
