why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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