bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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