yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
