Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
