Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
