i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize