Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
