I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
