Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
