Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
love makes seman taste better
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
