Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
There was a lot of him and a little penis
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
