It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
