I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
The best revenge is premature balding
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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